A d12 table for when your lute-strumming companion seems a bit too pleased.
1. “If I rhyme ‘love’ with ‘dove’ one more time, maybe they’ll finally notice my artistic irony.”
2. “Technically, serenading the dragon was a plan, they just lacked imagination.”
3. “The rogue thinks he’s subtle, but I can hear his coin purse jingling from three verses away.”
4. “I should really stop falling for every tavern wench named Elara. Or at least start numbering them.”
5. “Do I smell like ale, perfume, or poor life choices? Probably all three.”
6. “If they didn’t want me to narrate the battle in real time, they shouldn’t have given me inspiration dice.”
7. “I could help the fighter… or I could make this next song a tragic ballad about his poor decision-making.”
8. “Note to self: learn new spells. ‘Vicious Mockery’ loses impact when everyone’s used to the sarcasm.”
9. “I’m not lost, I’m seeking creative perspective.”
10. “Maybe the lich just needs to hear a good love song. Something in D minor, the saddest of all keys.”
11. “The party calls me dramatic. The party also forgets who wrote their heroic theme tune.”
12. “If I die heroically, make sure they spell my name correctly in the ballads. Two R’s. Three groupies.”
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