You’re trudging along the forest path, grumbling about how the tavern only served watery ale and stale cheese toasties, when suddenly woof!.Out of nowhere (literally), a dog pops into existence. Not your average “fetch the stick, chew the slipper” dog. Oh no. This one blinks about like your Uncle Barry after too many pints, appearing and disappearing faster than your GM’s patience.
Its glowing eyes fix on you with the unmistakable expression of: “Who’s a good adventurer? Not you!”
The Beast Itself
BECMI Stats
Armour Class: 5
Hit Dice: 4
Move: 120’ (40’)
Attacks: 1 bite (1–6)
Save As: Fighter 2
Morale: 8 (unless someone says “walkies”)
XP: 125
5e Stats
Armour Class: 13 (natural)
Hit Points: 22 (4d8+4)
Speed: 40 ft. (or “bloody quick”)
STR 12, DEX 17, CON 12, INT 10, WIS 13, CHA 11
Bite: +3 to hit, 1d6+1 piercing
Blink (Recharge 4–6): Teleports up to 40 ft., usually right into your personal space.
The Encounter
The blink dog pops five feet to the left, then pops three feet to the right, then pops behind you and gives your armour a sniff. It looks at you like it’s judging your fashion sense, and honestly, it’s not wrong.
Your party debates whether to fight it, feed it, or pretend you’re not home. Unfortunately, the dog has already decided this is happening.
Treasure? From a Dog?
Of course, blink dogs don’t have pockets. But rummage around their favourite teleportation spots, and you might stumble across:
Blink Dog Treasure Table (roll 1d6)
A half-chewed slipper. No magical value, but perfect for insulting nobles.
2d6 silver coins mysteriously licked clean.
A squeaky toy shaped like a beholder. When squeezed, it makes all goblins in 30 ft. laugh uncontrollably for 1 round.
A teleport-collar, once per day, lets you blink 10 ft. (but only if you bark first).
A scroll of Misty Step, slightly slobbered on, still legible if dried near a fire.
An unopened pack of beef jerky, labelled “Property of Sir Woofingham III.”
Three Possible Conclusions
The Scooby-Doo Special
You offer rations. The dog devours them, then blinks again, this time bringing back three more blink dogs. Congratulations, you’ve just founded a kennel. They won’t fight, but they will demand Scooby Snacks every 30 minutes.The Benny Hill Chase
You attack! The dog blinks out of reach, appearing just far enough away to waggle its tail mockingly. Cue fast-paced lute music as the entire party dashes after it through the woods in a slapstick chase sequence. Lose 1d4 dignity points each.The Monty Python Epilogue
The blink dog speaks (in perfect Received Pronunciation, naturally): “Terribly sorry, old chap, wrong adventuring party.” It tips an invisible bowler hat, then vanishes with a pop. You all stand awkwardly until someone mutters, “Well, that was barking mad.”
Have you tried DUNGEON DUNCE The TTRPG Family Farce? Four out of five concerned DMs recommend a weekly dose of duncery. Try DUNGEON DUNCE today for all your duncecraft needs!
Comments
Post a Comment