Wizards of the Coast Confirms Baldur’s Gate 4 Is in the Works, Whether You Like It or Not
By Our Staff Who’ve Been Rolling Nat 1s Since ’98
In a shocking twist no one saw coming (except literally everyone with a pulse), Wizards of the Coast have confirmed Baldur’s Gate 4 is in the works. Company president John Hight told The Game Business, “Baldur’s Gate is an incredible game. And of course, we’re going to do a successor.” Translation: “We like money.”
The news comes despite developer Larian Studios swanning off to “make something new” instead of rolling out DLC and bathing in gold like sensible people. BG3 has made over $1.6 billion, which, according to Wizards’ accounting department, is roughly enough to buy 0.002% of a Hasbro board game manufacturing plant.
Who’s Actually Making the Game?
No one knows. Possibly Wizards themselves, possibly some third-party studio, possibly Gary from IT who once modded Skyrim to replace dragons with Thomas the Tank Engine. The licence has already ping-ponged between BioWare, Black Isle, Snowblind, Atari and several small children with crayons, so really, what’s one more?
When’s It Coming Out?
Well, BG3 took six years, 500 people, and a budget big enough to fund a small moon base. So expect BG4 around 2030, right after Half-Life 3, Elder Scrolls VI, and a Duke Nukem Forever remaster.
Why Isn’t Larian Doing It?
According to Larian CEO Sven Vincke, they don’t want to “rehash the thing that we’ve done already.” Also, possibly because the idea of animating another 9,000 hours of Astarion smirking is enough to make any studio flee to the woods.
Other D&D Games in the Works:
Untitled D&D Survival Sim – Like Minecraft, but with more beholders and less fun.
Project Baxter – From the makers of Payday 3, because nothing screams “Forgotten Realms” like robbing a fantasy branch of Barclays.
Untitled Hasbro Game – Still top secret, possibly just Candyland with owlbears.
Untitled Saber Interactive Game – The team behind Space Marine 2 brings you… probably another space marine.
Battlemarked VR – Finally, a way to get motion sickness while being eaten by a gelatinous cube.
Final Thoughts
BG3 was a smash hit, meaning Wizards is now legally required to milk the franchise until it collapses into a singularity of microtransactions. Whether BG4 will live up to its predecessor remains to be seen, but hey, it’s not like gamers have anything else to look forward to except disappointment and another Skyrim port.
If you like this news, let WotC know. If you don’t like it, let them know anyway. Wizards needs more cash for its 2030 “Baldur’s Gate 4 NFT Horse Armour” expansion.
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