"Because nothing says love like a belly full of premium loam!"
Are you worried your little annelid isn’t growing up to be the monstrous apex predator you always dreamed?
Has your darling burrower lost that earthy glow? Then give them what nature intended: Dirt-A-Lac! The only fortified soil beverage made from 100% genuine dungeon floor with extra iron nuggets for strong, armour-piercing teeth!
Other brands may give you plain old sand and gravel, but Dirt-A-Lac guarantees a smooth, silty finish and that delightful clay crunch every young worm craves.
Recommended by nine out of ten illithid paediatricians, Dirt-A-Lac is rich in geological goodness and packed with those essential minerals to help your Purple Worm grow to a magnificent, adventurer-devouring 80 feet before its first molt!
“Because there’s no substitute for a mouthful of Mother Earth!”
Disclaimer:
Dirt-A-Lac is not responsible for excessive burrowing, cave-ins, or sudden planar rifts caused by over-consumption. Do not feed to humans, halflings, or paladins (they complain about the texture). Consult your local beholder before introducing new minerals into your wormling’s diet. Side effects may include uncontrollable tunnelling, appetite for adventurers, and spontaneous digestion of your dungeon décor. Offer void where surface dwellers live.
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