LONELY IN THE DUNGEON? FIND TRUE LOVE WITH...
SWORDS & SNUGGLES™ — Dunstarra’s Premier Adventurer Dating Service!
Tired of flirting with mimics? Sick of romantic dinners interrupted by gelatinous cubes? We’ve got the solution!
At Swords & Snuggles™, we match you with the perfect partner based on:
Your preferred dungeon trap (pit trap, swinging axe, ominous button...)
Your ideal romantic quest (rescue a cursed goat, retrieve the Sacred Spoon of Smooching, locate a missing left shoe...)
Your tolerance for spontaneous treasure-related betrayal
Success Stories Include:
“I fell into a spiked pit with my soulmate! 5 stars!” — Kragg & Olga, happily bleeding together
“Finally found someone who appreciates my cursed accordion!” — Dave the Bard, still single but very hopeful
“Our first date was in a haunted latrine. Pure magic.” — Seraphina & Gort, engaged (to the toilet ghost)
LIMITED TIME BONUS:
Sign up now and receive a free Potion of Charm Breath™ (smells like garlic and desperation!)
WARNING: Service not responsible for matches turning out to be changelings, necromancers, or exes you owe money to.
Don’t let love pass you by like that fireball trap you totally saw coming.
Call now! Just shout into any well-marked wizard hole and say:
“I’M DESPERATE AND MY ARMOR CHAFES.”
Our love imps will find you within 3-5 cursed moons.
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