ADVENTURER SURVIVAL KIT!

on

 THE ALL-NEW DUNGEON DUNCE™ ADVENTURER SURVIVAL KIT!

For only 3 easy payments of 7,654 gold (plus 4 cursed gemstones and a chicken), YOU get:

  • The Ever-Leaking Waterskin! Now with 50% more mysterious ooze!

  • The Unbreakable 10-Foot Pole! (Only bends in half when you look away.)

  • One (1) Goblin Translator Rock! Just throw it at any goblin and they’ll instantly know you insulted their mother!

  • Potion of Probably Healing! (Warning: May also cause sneezing, spontaneous goat summoning, and/or sudden invisibility of your pants.)

  • Dungeon Dunce Emergency Flare! Shoots straight into your face 4 out of 5 times!

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!
 Order now and receive a Bonus Scroll of Detect Cheese absolutely free!*

*Scroll does not detect cheese. Scroll is actually a menu from Orc McMaggots™ Tavern.

Adventurers everywhere agree:
 “I used the kit and only died twice!” — Borf the Brave
 “The flare worked great. I lost both eyebrows!” — Hilda the Uninsured
 “My 10-foot pole is now my emotional support pole.” — Greg the Wizard

ORDER NOW!
 Operators are standing by (barely). Send gold, chickens, and glitter bombs to:

Dungeon Dunce HQ — Third cave past the screaming rock — Dunstarra

Comments

Post a Comment