FEED A HUNGRY GOBLIN

Because even goblins deserve a slap-up meal… preferably yours!

Have you ever looked deep into the sad, yellow eyes of a starving goblin?
Neither have we. Frankly, we’d rather not. But the fact remains: every day, thousands of malnourished goblins go without a single plump adventurer to gnaw on. And whose fault is that? YOURS! While you’re lounging in a cosy tavern scoffing mutton pies and warm ale, these poor, misunderstood blighters are chewing on old belts and dreaming of half-eaten adventurers.

For just 10 gold pieces a day, you can sponsor a goblin and ensure he gets three square meals, or at least three squares of something vaguely edible. With your generous donation, we’ll provide:

A half-eaten adventurer (pre-loved but still meaty)
A bucket of questionable stew
One (1) live rat, extra crunchy!

And best of all, a heartfelt “thank you” written in goblin runes across your freshly stolen shield!

So go on, open your purse before he opens your jugular.

Send your contribution to:
FEED A HUNGRY GOBLIN
C/O “We Swear This Isn’t a Scam, Honest”
The Cave Behind the Old Mill, Third Pit on the Left

Remember: A goblin is for life… or at least until the adventurers show up.

Disclaimer: All donations are strictly non-refundable and may, in fact, be spent on strong ale, pointy sticks, or an entire family feast of unlucky adventurers. Side effects of not donating include sudden stabbing, loss of coin purse, and possible head removal.

Need more? 

PLAY DUNGEON DUNCE: The TTRPG Family Farce.