Congratulations, brave dunces! You’ve decided to climb a mountain. Why? Nobody knows. Maybe it’s the breathtaking view. Maybe it’s the treasure at the top. Or maybe it’s just that you’ve run out of taverns to brawl in. Whatever the reason, you’re in for a treat. By “treat” we mean frostbite, altitude sickness, and being eaten alive by something hairier than your party’s barbarian.
Mountains are nature’s way of saying, “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather stay home with a nice cup of tea?” But since you’ve ignored common sense, here’s a handy d12 table of encounters to make your ascent less about hiking and more about regretting your life choices.
Expect to meet Yetis flogging shampoo, goats that double as brass instruments, trolls with HR clipboards, and at least one of your Dungeon Master’s exes. Because if the thin air doesn’t finish you off, the sarcasm certainly will.
So grab your dice, tighten your boots, and prepare to wheeze, whinge, and possibly explode in a cloud of goat gas. Welcome to the mountain. You’ll wish you’d stayed in the dungeon.
Roll 1d12 when the party’s trudging uphill and needs a laugh (or a new trauma).
1. Sherpa Scam Artists
Helpful guides… until your loot’s halfway down the mountain.
BECMI: AC 8; HD 1 (4 hp); MV 120’ (40’); Att 1 club (1d4); Save NM; Morale 5. Pack Snatch: 50% chance per round they swipe gear.
5e: AC 11; HP 7 (2d8); Spd 30 ft; Club +2 (1d4); Sleight of Hand +5. On hit, can steal an item (DC 13 Perception to notice).
2. Avalanche Insurance Salesman
Appears mid-blizzard, brochures in hand.
BECMI: AC 9; HD 1-1 (3 hp); MV 90’ (30’); no attacks; Save NM; Morale 2. Distract: PCs lose 1d4 turns in small talk.
5e: AC 10; HP 5 (2d8-2); Spd 30 ft; Persuasion +6. DC 12 Wis save or lose action in endless paperwork debate.
O3. Yet Another Yeti (Grooming Guru)
Snow-beast turned lifestyle coach.
BECMI: AC 5; HD 6+2 (30 hp); MV 120’ (40’); Att 2 claws (1d6/1d6); Save F6; Morale 8. Hair-Raising Roar: once/encounter, save vs Paralysis or brush compulsively for 1 round.
5e: AC 12; HP 51 (6d10+12); Spd 40 ft, climb 20 ft; Multiattack: 2 claws +5 (1d6+3). Hair-Raising Roar (Recharge 5–6): DC 13 Wis save or incapacitated with grooming for 1 round.
4. Flatulent Goats
Each one a walking thunderwave.
BECMI: AC 7; HD 2 (9 hp); MV 90’ (30’), climb 120’ (40’); Att butt (1d4); Save NM; Morale 6. Thunderfart: once/hour, 10 ft radius, save vs Breath or 1d6 dmg + stunned 1 rd.
5e: AC 12; HP 13 (2d8+4); Spd 30 ft, climb 30 ft; Ram +4 (1d4+2). Thunderfart (Recharge 6): DC 12 Con save or 1d6 thunder dmg + poisoned 1 rd.
5. Hiker Influencers
Won’t move till the selfie is perfect.
BECMI: AC 9; HD 1 (5 hp); MV 90’ (30’); Att kick (1d2); Save NM; Morale 7. Tripod Trap: Dex check or fall prone.
5e: AC 12; HP 9 (2d8+2); Spd 30 ft; Kick +2 (1d4). Tripod Hazard: 10 ft area counts as difficult terrain.
6. Mountain Hermit
Thirty years of silence, broken by “Got loo roll?”
BECMI: AC 7; HD 2 (9 hp); MV 90’ (30’); Att staff (1d6); Save C2; Morale 6. Prophetic Rant: once/day, acts as Augury (50% accurate).
5e: AC 12; HP 18 (4d8); Spd 30 ft; Staff +3 (1d6+1). Can cast Augury once/day (cryptic answers).
7. Boulder With Attitude
Rolls its eyes before it rolls you flat.
BECMI: AC 3; HD 5 (22 hp); MV 60’ (20’) downhill only; Att crush (2d8); Save F3; Morale 12. Eye Roll: 30 ft, save vs Spells or -2 attacks 1 turn.
5e: AC 15; HP 45 (6d10+12); Spd 20 ft (downhill); Roll +6 (2d8+4 bludgeoning). Eye Roll: DC 13 Wis save or attack disadvantage 1 rd.
8. Frozen Corpse Vendor
“Authentic ancient relics!” (still twitching).
BECMI: AC 6; HD 3 (14 hp); MV 90’ (30’); Att dagger (1d4); Save T3; Morale 9. Corpse Sale: 25% chance “relic” animates as zombie.
5e: AC 12; HP 22 (5d8); Spd 30 ft; Dagger +3 (1d4+1). Corpse Stock: Each corpse sold has 25% chance of animating as Zombie in 1d4 rounds.
9. Choir of Echoes
Everything you say, repeated thrice, nastier each time.
BECMI: AC —; HD 4 (18 hp); MV 0; Att none; Save MU4; Morale 12. Echo Chamber: speaking within 60 ft, save vs Spells or confused 1d4 rds.
5e: AC 13; HP 27 (6d8); Spd 0 ft, fly 40 ft (hover, incorporeal). Echo Chamber (Recharge 5–6): DC 13 Cha save or confused 1d4 rds. Immune all dmg except thunder; Silence “kills” it instantly.
10. Suspiciously Polite Troll
Clipboard, waiver, unsettling grin.
BECMI: AC 4; HD 6+3 (32 hp); MV 120’ (40’); Att 2 claws (1d6/1d6), bite (1d10); Save F6; Morale 9. Regeneration: 3 hp/rd unless fire/acid.
5e: AC 15; HP 84 (8d10+40); Spd 30 ft; Multiattack: 2 claws +7 (1d6+4), bite +7 (1d10+4). Regeneration 10 unless fire/acid. Waiver Intimidation: PCs refusing to sign suffer disadvantage on first attack.
11. Summit Café
Tea lukewarm, scones lethal.
BECMI: Café walls AC 7, hp 30; Proprietor NM (AC 9, hp 4). Overpriced Menu: Refusing to pay 5 gp = pelted with stale scones (1 hp each).
5e: Café AC 12, hp 40; Proprietor Commoner (AC 10, hp 4). Rock Scone: Ranged +2 (1d4 bludgeoning, 30 ft).
12. The Dungeon Master’s Ex
Crossed arms. Full of unresolved arguments.
BECMI: AC 5; HD 7 (30 hp); MV 120’ (40’); Att Verbal Barrage; Save MU7; Morale 12. Verbal Barrage: once/encounter, 60 ft, save vs Spells or paralysed with guilt 1 turn.
5e: AC 14; HP 52 (7d8+21); Spd 30 ft; Verbal Barrage (Recharge 5–6): DC 14 Wis save or stunned 1 rd. Legendary Resistance (1/day): “Not this argument again.”
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