LADY MORRIGANA’S BUDGET NECROMANCY

LADY MORRIGANA’S BUDGET NECROMANCY SERVICES 

“Because digging up the past shouldn’t cost an arm and a leg. Just yours.”

Are you tired of overpriced priests and their smug, holy glows? Want your Nana back for one last hug or a decent Yorkshire pudding? Look no further!

LADY MORRIGANA, ACCREDITED NECROMANCER (B.Y.O. Coffin)

Now offering reanimations, minor hauntings, and budget séances for the price of a used donkey and a whisper on the wind.

OUR SERVICES INCLUDE:

Reanimation Specials – Bring back loved ones, pets, or slightly irritating exes. Guaranteed 83% lifelike. May include groaning, oozing, and unsolicited poetry.

Undead Butler Packages – Your personal corpse concierge. Answers the door. Eats intruders. Moans politely.

Will Readings with Dramatic Ghost Commentary

Now with 400% more "YOU FORGOT ME, JEFFREY!"

Funeral Crashers for Hire

Make an exit after you’ve entered the coffin. Nothing says closure like screaming guests and a slow clap from the vicar.

TESTIMONIALS FROM SATISFIED (AND REGRETFUL) CUSTOMERS:

"She brought my gran back for one last hug. Gran brought plague. Mixed bag." – Terrence, Swindon

"Ten out of ten. Would unbury my nan again." – Cheryl, Leeds

"My husband returned from the grave and won’t stop asking where I put the remote. He never changes." – Margot, deceased since Thursday

NOW WITH OUR EXCLUSIVE ‘RAISE THREE, PAY FOR TWO’ OFFER

Perfect for necro-curious families, angry nobles, or large bandit groups.

Located just outside of town. Follow the smell of brimstone and poor life choices.

LADY MORRIGANA’S BUDGET NECROMANCY

“Your death is our business.”

Disclaimer: Services may be cursed. Not liable for hauntings, soul entanglements, or surprise weddings.